In which I meet the Vet

My poo’s started to get very runny and were a funny colour. Mummy said to Daddy she thought she saw something called ‘blood’. Daddy told her to keep an eye on me (which she did all the time anyway) and if it didn’t get better we would go somewhere called the ‘vets’. I didn’t like the sound of that. Things didn’t get better and late one night I poo’d out nothing but blood. I was in a lot of pain. Mummy and Daddy got very upset and took me off to the ‘emergency vet’ and that sounded even scarier.

Here I am looking all sorry for myself

When we got there all the ladies were very, very nice and made a big fuss of me because I’m ‘soooo cute’. Daddy said ‘Never mind all that. Sort ‘er arse out. It’s bleedin’. The nice ladies gave me some more cuddles and then some medicine and told my humans to get me checked out by my own vet. I didn’t have one yet…

As we were leaving I heard Daddy say he was going to ‘settle up’ and then loudly, ‘’Ow much?’ Jesus!’ 

We then got in the car and Daddy shut the door a little bit too hard before saying to Mummy ‘’Undred and eighty quid to stick a thermometer up ‘er arse and give her some bleedin’ Alka Saltzer! Taking soddin’ liberties luv! And we’ve got to take her to another bloody vet as well for chrissakes. What was the point of that then? I could have stuck a thermometer up ‘er arse for nuffing!’  Mummy stayed quiet because she knew Daddy was ‘going into one’…again. 

I don’t know what ‘quids’ are but I think it’s ‘monies’ and I was going to cost lots of it.

My humans took me to a vet lady and she was lovely and made a fuss of me (did I tell you I was cute?), gave me a kiss and then she stuck a thermometer up my arse too! I wasn’t happy and I’m learning some bad words because of my Daddy. They had to give the vet lady some of my poo in a little bottle and it had to be sent for testing. The vet lady said I also had ‘conjunk, conjuntiv,…pink-eye! She said the ‘fat ‘orrible cow’ (Daddy’s name for that lady who owned me) hadn’t looked after me at all.

As we left, Daddy had to go and ‘settle up’ again and get some more medicines. As we went back to the car (I had to be carried) Daddy was shouting about people ‘robbing him and it now costing him 250 quids just to have me buggered twice’. He was off again and I didn’t know what he meant by ‘buggered’. Mummy kissed me a lot though.

I had to stay at home and couldn’t even go in the garden while we waited for the test results. I still had runny poo’s. It was really bad.  When my results came back it said I had ‘Giardhia’ which is a very, very bad tummy bug that could have sent me to heaven. It nearly sent poor Mummy there too because she caught it from me. It really isn’t true that humans can’t get infected by dogs. Ask my Mummy…

Daddy says the times cracking on a bit and he has to get up early to do some works so we have to go to bed now. Please come back and I’ll tell you some more soon.